I used to be shy and I lacked common social skills. I’ve been improving for 4ish years and I’m now goofy and confident. I’ve been where you are right now and I’ve travelled to the socializing promised land. Let’s get a few things clear: I’m not asking you to become an extrovert, however, I’m hoping you’ll aim to be an ambivert (intro + extro = ambi).
Being able to talk to anyone, about anything is a lot of fun and is the easiest way to create amazing experiences. I still love time to myself, but when the opportunity arrises for adventures in socializing, I’m now fully equipped.
- Smile. Forcing yourself to smile tricks your mind into being happy (http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/prefrontal-nudity/201207/smile-powerful-tool).
- Change your perspective and mental state. You get nervous thinking about talking to that sexy guy and/or girl at the <insert place here>? Great! Think about it this way: Feel your pulse, feel the nervousness, you’re ALIVE! Harness all that magnificent pent up energy to say Hi.
- Focus on the positive and start your morning with 3 things you’re grateful for. (Tony Robbins can help with that: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smhzRqHkpZs)
- Improve your posture to build confidence. You’ll feel more confident and others will be impressed by your sexy form. Kelly Starett’s http://www.mobilitywod.com/episodes/ is a great, free resource.
- Start having genuine conversations with people. Pickup lines and empty compliments make poor conversation. Talk about what you’re passionate about, ask about their passions. Make a real connection with someone and don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. Everyone has hopes, and fears, so stop talking about minutia Sounds exciting? Never Eat Alone (http://keithferrazzi.com/products/never-eat-alone) is an excellent book about forming genuine, vulnerable relationships.
- Upgrade your appearance (I wrote about this: http://nickbreen.ca/blog/small-improvements-to-radically-change-how-other-perceive-you/).
- Flood your system with endorphins! In other words, go do anything physical like: lifting weights, air squats, pushups, any form of yoga, or running. Remember to use GOOD FORM. Highly recommend Tim Ferriss’ Four Hour Body: http://fourhourbody.com/
Deconstruct why you’re shy. What are you avoiding? Do you really like being alone with your thoughts, or is it a convenient excuse?
Want to take the first step? Say hello to me. Let’s have a chat.