Become less shy and more confident

I used to be shy and I lacked common social skills. I’ve been improving for 4ish years and I’m now goofy and confident. I’ve been where you are right now and I’ve travelled to the socializing promised land. Let’s get a few things clear: I’m not asking you to become an extrovert, however, I’m hoping you’ll aim to be an ambivert (intro + extro = ambi).

Being able to talk to anyone, about anything is a lot of fun and is the easiest way to create amazing experiences. I still love time to myself, but when the opportunity arrises for adventures in socializing, I’m now fully equipped.

Easy wins

  • Smile. Forcing yourself to smile tricks your mind into being happy (
  • Change your perspective and mental state. You get nervous thinking about talking to that sexy guy and/or girl at the <insert place here>? Great! Think about it this way: Feel your pulse, feel the nervousness, you’re ALIVE! Harness all that magnificent pent up energy to say Hi.
  • Focus on the positive and start your morning with 3 things you’re grateful for. (Tony Robbins can help with that:
  • Improve your posture to build confidence. You’ll feel more confident and others will be impressed by your sexy form. Kelly Starett’s is a great, free resource.
  • Start having genuine conversations with people. Pickup lines and empty compliments make poor conversation. Talk about what you’re passionate about, ask about their passions. Make a real connection with someone and don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. Everyone has hopes, and fears, so stop talking about minutia  Sounds exciting? Never Eat Alone ( is an excellent book about forming genuine, vulnerable relationships.
  • Upgrade your appearance (I wrote about this:
  • Flood your system with endorphins! In other words, go do anything physical like: lifting weights, air squats, pushups, any form of yoga, or running. Remember to use GOOD FORM. Highly recommend Tim Ferriss’ Four Hour Body:

Deconstruct why you’re shy. What are you avoiding? Do you really like being alone with your thoughts, or is it a convenient excuse?

Want to take the first step? Say hello to me. Let’s have a chat.

WiFly-shield with arduino setup instructions

We had a hell of a time setting up the Wifly Sheild to our Arduino Uno. After hours of trying different libraries we realized the problem was our router wireless security settings.

Linksys settings

We recommend turning off all security first, testing the arduino to make sure it’s not defective.

Connect to your Linksys router by typing in to your browser. Default settings are username:admin and an empty password.

Wireless Settings -> Manual Wireless Connection Setup

Wireless Network Name : no spaces or special characters

Wireless Security Mode: WPA-Personal

WPA Mode: WPA2 Only

Cipher Type: AES (Apperently the shield doesn’t work with WPA2 and TKIP)

Group Key Update Interval: 3600 seconds

Pre-Shared Key: no spaces or special characters

You can find your channel on the status page. We didn’t need this to set up the Wifly.

Testing your wireless network with Wifly shield

Add to your Arduino Library (unzip the Library, go to Arduino application, Sketch->Import Library->Add Library and go to where you unzipped the library, open the main parent folder, restart your Adruino application)

Open the SpiUartTerminal sketch (File->Examples->Wi_Fly-Shield->SpiUartTerminal)

Upload the sketch and open Serial Monitor (Tools->Serial Monitor)

type $$$ (make sure no line ending is selected)

select carriage return

type get wlan (these are the current settings)

type set wlan ssid wireless$network$name ($ is used instead of spaces, your wireless network shouldn’t have spaces anyway)

type set wlan phrase wirless$password

type join (it will either give you an error or tell you it’s successfully connected)

type save if everything worked properly

Congrats! You have wireless capabilities.

Now add the wireless settings to the appropriate Credentials.h

We had to comment out skipRemainderOfResponse(); in the boolean WiFlyDevice::join(const char *ssid) of WiFly_Shield/WiFlyDevice.cpp because it was hanging (it couldn’t find a new line to know when the response had ended).

Planning your attack & other programming lessons I’ve learnt

I jump into code too quickly. I don’t think about the whole system, I just dive right in. I’ve made this mistake 5 times this year and every time I remind myself to slow down. I’m paraphrasing my old boss Bong Doh: “Don’t touch the keyboard until you know exactly what, where, and why. What the problem is, where you are adding code, and why this code will fix the problem.” When I don’t follow this rule, I pay with my time and frustration. As we all know, rushing leads to bugs, bugs lead to anger, and anger leads to the dark side.

Here are 4 more lessons I’ve had the pleasure of learning:

  1. Confirm all program touch points are functional before jumping into code.

    Example 1: Our signup emails weren’t sending and I thought our code was the problem. After spending an hour investigating the ‘problem code’, I learned that marked our account as a spam account and blocked us from sending emails (Mailchimp & Mandrill are great alternatives to getting spam blocked).
    Example 2: Our videos weren’t streaming, and again, I dived into the code thinking it was a problem with the player. It turns out Microsoft Azure has problems streaming older .mp4 codecs, re-encoding the test video solved the problem!

  2. Understand what the code does before diving in.

    Example 1: I created a WordPress site and was editing CSS files to style the font and change some colours. I learned hours later, WordPress layouts have editors to easily change any kind of style and much more!

  3. Prioritize features and understand how important each feature is to the project. If a priority 1 feature is taking 20% of your overall time-budget, it may not be worth it.
  4. Sometimes a good enough solution is good enough! Don’t let perfect get in the way of good. On the other side of the coin, a quick-fix stays much longer than you’d like.

    Example 1: During a Startup Weekend blitz, I was in charge of building our prototype. I invested too much time perfecting the prototype. The prototype was only 1/4 of the business, and I should have spent more time developing our pitch and slide deck.